Class Meetings in Nigeria/>/>

I would like to share some stories that happened in my classroom during my 2 years of implementing the Positive Discipline.

   One very energetic little boy, Mohammed wanted to get a toy from the shelf, but his friend Abdul was faster and he took the toy before him. Mohammed got angry and he kicked his friend Abdul. Abdul ignored him and he went away quietly to play with the toy. Only some moment later Mohammed came to me to make a complain; “I kicked Abdul and he did not give the “I” message, what should I do now teacher?”  I asked him: “Well, what do you think you should do now?”

He said;” I have to go and apologize to Abdul.”

   Small children have difficulties in giving compliments to each other. I introduced this activity by giving the children a compliment just before home time every day for a week. One day I asked the children to try to give a compliment to each other. It didn’t go well. My children were giving delightful compliments for themselves like; ‘I was a very good girl today, because I shared my apple with Hafsah and you know what, I didn’t pull her hair today. Etc.”  

  Next day I started giving compliments for myself and my kids didn’t like it. They said please teacher could you give a compliment to us not for yourself? After that my children had fewer problems giving compliments to each other.

  The first few days of school one of our activities (class meeting) is to put together and talk about the classroom and playground rules. In the beginning I told the children the rules and we talked about it, thinking that they are too small to come up with the rules (4-5 year old), but last year I have decided to let them generate the rules. To my surprise it went ok (it was not perfect!) and my children were even stricter than me and they generated more rules. Naturally we had some silly rules like; ‘Don’t talk to me when I am angry. Etc.”

My class really enjoyed this activity and they follow the rules they have generated themselves more voluntarily.

   Using children’s misbehavior/mistake to teach them how to behave well is a good theory.  When a child misbehaves in our classroom or during outdoor activities I frequently try to make use of the opportunity to talk about it with the children during class meeting later that day. We talk about what happened and I ask the children to find a solution, not a punishment for the problem. Well, talking about little ones again we have some very silly or even bad ideas (flush him in the toilet, kick him back etc.), but gradually, more often than not my kids find a good solution for the conflict.

As expected, it takes time and persistence from the teacher especially with little ones to show the way and make the kids understand that they have the power to decide how to solve conflict on their on peacefully, but it is extremely rewarding at the end. 

Once again please let me know if there is any way I could be part of this program.

Thank you,
Zsuzsanna K. Bari
Nigeria/>/>

 Another example:

What do you think, should we forgive others for their mistakes?

A four-year-old little girl, Ummu slapped 2 of her peers a few days ago in the classroom for no obvious cause. I called her and talked to her about it in private, but she demonstrated no emotions and she refused to say sorry to the children she slapped. Our next activity was “sandbox play” (one of the favourite activities of my children).  I gave Ummu a choice; to say sorry to her peers then she can go to the sandbox with others or to stay in the class, if she refuses to say sorry. Ummu refused, so she stayed in the class while her peers went to the sandbox. She gave the impression not to care about the missed sandbox activity.

 Next day early in the morning Ummu slapped another little girl again. I separated them softly and decided to call a class meeting after our break time. I explained to the children that I think Ummu needs our help, because she doesn’t seem to understand that slapping and fighting is wrong. I invited the children to come up with ideas to help her, not to punish her. My little ones generated the following ideas; “Slap her back”, “Flush her in the toilet”, “Put her in Nursery One” (one class below), “Take her to our Principal”, or “Tell her not to came to school any more unless she stops fighting”... etc.

While brainstorming I noticed that Ummu was sitting very quietly and she had tears in her eyes. She was really unhappy about our discussion and the ideas. (So was I with most of the ideas, but this was only our third class meeting!)  When I noticed this I told the children; “Look at Ummu, I think she is really sad right now.” Come here Ummu; “Please, could you tell us why are you feeling sad now?” She just started to cry and she said; “I am sorry and I am not going to do it again.”

I asked the children; “What do you think, should we forgive her and give her another chance?”  To my big surprise the kids said; “NO, NO, NO!”

Hoops, what am I going to do now?  I did not want to tell the children that they should forgive Ummu; I wanted them to come to that solution by themselves.

After thinking a while, I decided to call for a role play. I called Tanya, one of the little girls who were shouting NO, NO, NO. I asked her to imagine that she broke one of our toys (she is a smart girl and she said, ok teacher, but you know I really didn’t do it!)  and I am very angry at her now. “What are you going to do about it Tanya?” I asked her. She said; “I am going to say that I am so sorry, you know I didn’t mean to break it.” 

 I told her;” I don’t care about your sorry and you can’t play with our toys any more, because I think you don’t deserve another chance, you might just break more toys.”

My little girl Tanya was really looking at me with a big disbelief, so were the other children. After a short and quiet break I just said; “Thank you Tanya, but let us go back to Ummu’s case now. Then I asked the children again; “What do you think, should we forgive her and grant her another chance?” To my relief the answer this time was YES, YES, YES!

Since then Ummu did not have any fight in our class. I think she really learned a good deal about consequences of fighting. I did not shout at her neither   punished her; I just wanted her to know how her friends feel about the way she acted and let her know that everything she says or does has consequences.

We used up more time than I intended on this class meeting that day, we skipped one activity, however it was worth of it, the children learned something new, something that was not in our ‘plan’, but something very valuable .They have learned how to solve a problem cooperatively, how to take decision, how to make a choice and how to forgive to others. These are very important life skills and I do hope that they will remember, although I know with little ones we have to use every opportunity to strengthen and to reteach these skills.

I have learned something as well; I learned that I have to be always ready for unpredicted turns of our class meetings and to be imaginative.

Class meetings could be challenging, stimulating to the kids and to the teachers as well, particularly with little ones. I always enjoy class meeting with my babies and they never seem to stop astonishing me with their reaction (sometimes much unexpected) to different problems, I think they understand more than we give them the credit for.

Thank you for reading it.
Zsuzsanna Bari
From Nigeria